Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I won't be marching this year

Today is tough for me.  January 22nd is a roller coaster of emotions every year.  Sad that we're yet again commemorating another million lives lost.  Yet hopeful and optimistic at the hundreds of thousands of others like me willing to brave travel and cold to stand up for the voiceless.

But this year is different because it's the first year in many that I won't be attending.  It has nothing to do with the weather (I actually love this stuff!).  It's just that it's too much and too long of a day, being 7 months pregnant, and having a toddler in tow.  Don't get me wrong - it's THE BEST reason to have to miss the march - EVER!!!  But it's bittersweet to only be able to participate via social media and EWTN.

I participated through 4 years of secondary infertility (at least one of those days I got CD1 on THE day of the March, which just seemed like a slap in the face!).  I participated 2 months after a miscarriage.  So yes, this year is a much better reason to not be participating, and I thank God daily (hourly...minutely) for this blessing!!  But I'm still sad not to be there.

If you've never been, please please please make it a point to go to one soon.  It's the most amazing experience.  But better yet, please pray and act that we may never need to have another March for Life ever again!!  41 years is quite long enough.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Need some 3rd tri advice

So I've been here twice before, so I know how tough the third trimester can be, regarding uncomfortability, heartburn, sleeplessness, swelling, water retention....all that fun stuff.

But this past week has brought on a brand new symptom: emotional basketcaseness.  O.M.G.  I'm out of control lately.  I mean...crying at the drop of a hat, screaming at my poor kids (again, at the drop of a hat), etc.  I get this way every once in awhile when I'm running on VERY little sleep, but am able to get over it by, well, getting more sleep.  But I've been sleeping pretty well lately.

Has anyone ever experienced this?  Is it hormones?  Cabin fever (I did get out today and felt much better this afternoon, but I went to the gym yesterday and it was probably my worst day, so 6 of one...)?  General physical exhaustion?

It's true that the last 2 times I've gone through the third tri I haven't been keeping up with school and extra-curricular schedules AND chasing around a psychotic screaming toddler.  Maybe I'm just overextended??  Gah!!!  Thoughts??  And is there ANYTHING I can do???  Help!!!!

Friday, January 3, 2014

28 weeks

Isn't that a movie?  Anyway, not for this post.  That's how far along I am.  I know...I haven't even really "announced" here that I'm expecting again.  And did I mention it's a girl?!?  After 2 boys, everyone asks me ALL the time, "Aren't you excited?"  And I am...but honestly, after a miscarriage, the last thing I was concerned about was the sex of the baby.  AT ALL.  People who have never experienced infertility or miscarriage have the luxury of caring about that trivial stuff.  God bless them, they have no idea.  But the question gets a little infuriating after awhile.

The first trimester lasted an eternity (in my head), and every tiny little movement, lack thereof, symptom, etc, I over-analyzed to the point of psychosis.  But alas, we are now in the third trimester (!!!) and everything has gone absolutely smoothly so far.  I've had about 5 ultrasounds, and they've all been perfect, thank you GOD!!!  I even had some bleeding around 9 weeks and was sure it was over.  But we went in for an emergency ultrasound and the little pistol was in there moving around.  She's gonna give me a stroke one day, I'm sure.

At my last ultrasound, which was at 26 weeks, they noticed that her stomach was measuring bigger than the rest of her body (29 weeks!!!).  They were concerned about my glucose, but I just got the results of my last one-hour glucose test, and it wasn't even remotely near the danger zone.  My OB isn't concerned, she said we'll just keep an eye on her overall size, so she doesn't get too big.  But I'm wondering if anyone else has ever had this issue and what the result was.  DON'T TELL ME if it's a horror story.  Please - I DO NOT need unnecessary worry right now!!!  Haha!  But if you have any insight, let me know.

Eventually I'll post an ultrasound pic.  But today is a snow day and I just don't have it in me to walk upstairs to the scanner right now!  :)