My dad is a hero

My dad isn't an emotional guy.  He has a very dry sense of humor and never laughs at his own jokes (even though he's got the most hilarious one-liners you'll ever hear)!  I've seen him cry...3, maybe 4 times in his life.  And it's always stifled.

I've always been proud of my dad.  He's the one who taught me never to compromise my values and beliefs.  He taught me that it does no good to be popular if you're not right.  And humility is his greatest virtue.

My dad is a state representative in Indiana.  He spends Monday through Thursday in Indianapolis, busy with legislative session, committee meetings, and other political functions.  I was keeping my mom very informed on the baby issue, but because I don't like to bother him when he's in Indy, I didn't know how much he knew.  I hadn't realized how invested he was in this story.  Until today.

My mom called to tell me that a very important pro-life bill that I had talked to my dad about previously, passed the State House yesterday.  I was thrilled!  It was big news!  There are 60 House Republicans, and they expected to get close to 60, if that much.  She then proceeded to tell me that it passed with an overwhelming majority - far more votes than expected.  Then she told me why.

My mom had called him in tears earlier in the day to tell him that the baby was lost.  My dad, not being very emotional, consoled her the best he could, before running into the chambers for session.

Testimony on HB 1210 began.  As he was listening to all of the bill's opponents call pro-lifers "crazies," accusing them of not caring about the women in crisis situations, etc...all the usual nonsense, he was forming his testimony.  He had planned to go through the typical run-of-the mill facts about how basically everything they were saying was completely not true, it dawned on him that he had a very recent personal story to tell on this very topic.

He approached the podium, said he wouldn't be there long, and began to talk.  Except...he couldn't speak.  He got so choked up he had to step away from the podium.  Typically the chambers are noisy - people aren't listening to testimonies, they're having their own side conversations, papers are shuffling, and it's actually hard to hear the speaker.  But as soon as they noticed my dad's emotion, he told me you could have heard a pin drop - an anomaly in that room.

He continued by telling everyone that no...pro-lifers are not "crazies" and that he has a pro-life daughter in Maryland who offered to adopt an unwanted baby.  Then he proceeded, in tears, to tell the Indiana House of Representatives, that he lost a potential grandchild to abortion today.

The bill passed with 72 votes.  My dad is a hero.

**You can see my dad's speech here.  To avoid watching 2 hrs of the Indiana House of Representatives legislative session (though thrilling), fast-forward to 2:23:00.

It's over...

Dear God, have mercy on us.

Update on the baby - abortion scheduled for tomorrow!

Unfortunately I have some bad news on the baby.  Last I had heard (last week), she was bleeding and they all assumed she was miscarrying.  But I knew she had kept the appointment for this week at the PRC, just in case.  Apparently she went back for her second ultrasound today, saw the baby and the heartbeat, and immediately scheduled an abortion for tomorrow. 

My heart is breaking.  I just can't fathom why someone would do such a thing, after seeing her baby inside her womb, knowing someone the baby's grandmother trusts would take care of her child.  I can't help but think the girl's single mother is pressuring her into aborting.  I know I've asked a lot from all of you, but it seems like this is the last straw.  It's desperation at this point.

God bless you all.  I'll keep you posted.

Jack's Prayer: An Original

I got several comments back in this post asking me to post one of Jack's original bedtime prayers.  I wasn't fortunate enough to be home for this one, but my husband told me all about it.  I was really sorry to have missed it in person.

Here's the context: Hubby was doing the bedtime routine and found some change on his dresser.  He gave it to Jack to put in his piggy bank.  Jack took the money, looked at hubby & said, "Actually, dad, I wanna put it in the poor boy box" (the Lenten rice bowl).

Impressed, hubby replied, "OK, sure, we can do that!"  So they went downstairs to the kitchen and put the money in the "poor boy box."

Afterwards, they were saying prayers and it came time for "Jack's prayer."  (He says his own original every night after the usual Catholic prayers.)  He told hubby he wanted to pray for the poor boys. Hubby told him that was a great idea, since they had just put money in the box for them.

Jack proceeded to pray something like this, "Dear God. Please give the poor boys money so we don't have to keep wasting ours." 

Hmmm... I guess we have to work on the meaning of the rice bowl.

More baby updates

First of all, it's humanly impossible for me to thank you all sufficiently for all of your prayers through this ordeal!! So the best I can do is: thanks! And more thanks for checking back to ask about the progress. You are some amazing people!!

The most recent update is that they didn't see anything on the ultrasound but she did cancel her abortion appt for tomorrow. Praise God!!! Now that just means that since they didn't see anything on the U/S (it's very early), she's going back to the PRC in a week for another one. However, when she got home she started cramping and bleeding so they're pretty sure she's miscarrying (another reason they probably didn't see anything on the U/S). Which is good and bad. No...a m/c is never "good" but it's always better than abortion. I'm certainly disappointed because there was a very outside chance that could have been my child. But I'm trying not to think of it that way because we don't even know of the girl would have been open to adoption. So...it's still sort of a waiting game until next week's visit but we have bougt ourselves a week!! Thank the Lord!!!

UPDATE on the baby - abortion scheduled for Wednesday! PRAYERS!!

***Update: Ultrasound at the pregnancy resource center is scheduled for 10am TOMORROW!  

Two posts in one day??  Well, this just came up...

If prayers were ever urgent, it's NOW!  The baby I asked you for prayers for here, is in even greater danger.  I just received a call from my friend letting me know the abortion is scheduled for Wednesday.  The girl says her "decision is final."

BUT - there's a glimmer of hope.  She did say she's willing to view an ultrasound (my friend persuaded her by saying she may not even need an abortion b/c she could have miscarried already, etc etc - hey, whatever works) if she can get a free on by tomorrow.

By God's grace, we called the pregnancy care center closest to her and they are able to get her an ultrasound first thing tomorrow morning!!!  PLEASE please pray that viewing her baby changes her mind!!  And that she doesn't change her mind about the ultrasound.  Please, God!!

I owe you all big time on this one.  THANK YOU!!!

Our Lady of Guadalupe, intercede for us!!!

That book I told you about...

So remember that book I told you about a couple of posts ago?  The one hubby got for me via the Love Dare?  Well...it's awesome.  I'm not quite done yet so I hesitate to tell you to rush out and buy it.  But so far I'm blowing through it (and I do not blow through books)!

It's a memoir.  I was shocked when I began reading about the author's battle with infertility!  I suspected my husband had read that that was a big part of it.  So I asked him if that's why he bought it for me.  He swears he didn't know what it was about besides "issues in her past."  Hmmm.  The more I keep reading it, the more I'm not so sure.  But he insists he didn't know!  Maybe it was just Providential!

I wanted to share an excerpt with you.  She's explaining why, despite the pressure and crazy looks from her doctors to do IVF, she will not succumb:

"I think that I did it, in the end, because when I die, and it comes my turn to be judged, whatever faults and failings, whatever sins large or small are laid to my account, at least I'll be able to say this:

'The hardest thing I ever did in my life I did for You.  The world promised me what I wanted most and I turned it down, because I believed in You and Your Church, and your Church told me 'no.'  Even when everyone was telling me I was a fool to submit to You; even when I played with the babies, even a few blessed babies who had come into the world by the way You had forbidden me, babies You loved, babies You made Your children by the loving obedience of Your Son, babies I played with and loved and bought Christmas presents for - even when I didn't understand, even when I couldn't feel You anywhere, even when I hated it, I did what You asked.  Despite all the sins and screw-ups and failures to be what You wanted me to be, however often I have buried my talents in the ground, however I have failed to be fruitful for You in other ways, at least in this one thing, this one unbearable thing, I can honestly say I was obedient at great cost.

'And if that isn't enough for You, well, it's all I've got.  If that's not enough, then I never had a chance with You from the beginning.  You are Truth itself.  And the truth about me is that this pathetic submission is the closest I could come to being like You.'"

Wow.  I read this part with my jaw hanging on the floor.  Honest, yes, but completely selfless and obedient.  I was almost ashamed to read it!  Because even though I have never considered IVF (it's easier not to consider when you already have one), I have never handled my IF quite so obediently!  I especially appreciated the "well, it's all I've got" line.  Yep.  I've said that more than once along my journey!  I was amazed at her raw openness - something you get a lot of in this book!

Like I said, I hesitate to recommend it quite yet, just because I'm not totally done.  But it has really resonated with me so far.  I'll keep you posted!   If you'd like to check it out, you can go to her website where she also blogs.

Displacement

Tell me why, again, we don't live in Indiana?

It's certainly not hindering his indoctrination.  It's March Madness!  BOILER UP!!

(Just wanted to quickly update everyone from my last post.  The son was able to talk to the pregnant girlfriend and it seems he got through to her a bit.  Then she went to break the news to her mom and sister.  I understand she doesn't have the healthiest family life and the dad's not in the picture.  No real update yet.  Still just praying the mom doesn't encourage abortion.  I'll definitely keep you all updated.  I can't thank you enough for all your prayers!!!!  You ladies are amazing!)

URGENT Prayers for Baby's Life, Please! **Update!

**I just received a text that the son is talking to the girlfriend RIGHT NOW, begging her not to have an abortion!  Please keep the prayers coming!!  Pray that the Holy Spirit speaks through him and to her for a change of heart!!!

I just received a phone call from a dear friend of mine, in tears.  She told me that her teenage son, recently sexually active, got his girlfriend pregnant.  She came to their house yesterday and broke up with the son.  A few hours later they found out it's because she's pregnant and plans to have an abortion this week.

My friend asked, if she was able to talk to the girl, if she could tell her that she knows a couple (us) who would adopt the baby if she just didn't abort.  I, of course, said yes.  This is my friend's grandbaby.  She's got so much stress in her life right now, she doesn't need to be dealing with this.  But she's an amazing pro-life activist with Silent No More, so I pray that if she can just get in touch personally with the girl, there's a good chance the baby will live.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for my friend and the girl!  It's very urgent...a baby's life is at stake!

 Jesus, Mary and Joseph I love you very much. I beg you to spare the life of the unborn child that I have spiritually adopted who is in danger of abortion.

Marching for Life and Breakfast with the Pope!

Just a couple of random items because I'm in the middle of writing an op-ed and a press release and I desperately need a break!

I mentioned in my Lent post that my husband and I are doing The Love Dare.  It's a great book, but I don't think we're really getting as much out of it as probably a couple that's really on the rocks.  The first couple of days were great, but then the "dares" started to tell us to do more things like "make a list of things that annoy you about your spouse!"  And we sort of skipped over those days!  Haha!  Our marriage isn't on the rocks, so we thought, "Why open that can of worms?"  I think it would work really well the way they used it in the movie "Fireproof" - where the one spouse does the dares unbeknownst to the other.  It adds the element of surprise that I think makes it really powerful.

Regardless, we're having fun with it.  One of the days' dares was to purchase something for your spouse that let them know you were thinking of him/her.  I bought hubby a card and, since it's Lent and I couldn't buy him candy or ice cream, a bag of pistachios.  I can't believe I just admitted that.  But it is his favorite nut (though he might tell you that I am).  He, on the other hand, bought me a book that I'm just dying to read.  It's called Breakfast with the Pope.

It bills itself as "The Christian Eat, Pray, Love!"  And the cover is so cute and trendy!  :)  I've been trying to avoid seeing the real "Eat, Pray, Love" because everything I read about it makes it sound shallow and narcissistic.  So to have a real Christian alternative, I'm super excited!!  I'll let you know how it is!

Of course, I'm only in the middle of about 3 books for Lent right now.  Oh, who am I kidding...I'll probably start this one too!  If I'm reading 3, might as well be 4!

Switching gears, I went to the Maryland March for Life last night.  What a great event!  I really wish I hadn't forgotten my camera, so I'm waiting for my friend to send me the pic that she took.  But it was a lot of fun.  It's about a 2 hour drive to Annapolis for me and I had Jack, poor kid.  He's always being dragged around to pro-life events!  Although since we didn't get home until after 10pm, I let him stay home from school today so he got something out of it.  It started with mass at St. Mary's at 5:15, then a short rally in the parking lot before processing through the quaint streets of Annapolis (if you've never been...GO).  It ended at the harbor with another rally under the evening sky!   

The best part - I met David Bereit!!  It was totally by chance, too.  We had just used the restroom at the church and we stopped to put gloves on.  I looked up and there he was walking towards me (not to me, just in my direction).  I stopped him and said, "Mr. Bereit, I must shake your hand!"  I introduced myself as the president of DE Right to Life and his reaction was so humbling!  He gave a shocked look, shook his head and thanked me for all we do.  Ha!  He thanked me!  How backwards is that!  :)  He was such a nice guy and it was a blessing to get to meet him!

All for now.  Hopefully I'll have something a little more substantial to post next time!

Heartbreaking

Jack: "Mommy, why don't I have a brother yet?"

Me, heart sinking toward kneecaps: "Because God hasn't sent us one yet."

"When will he send us one?"

"Don't know, buddy.  Wish I knew." (cries in pillow)

This, for me, is the most heartbreaking part of secondary infertility.

Coming soon, to a healthcare system near you...

Assuming our bright, shiny, wonderful new government-funded healthcare law doesn't get repealed, America will be in for a little something like this.  The director of Britain's NHS, Dr. Daphne Austin, said that she wants babies born at 23 weeks or earlier (keep in mind, viability is getting ever earlier - about as early as 20 weeks) to be left to die.  LEFT TO DIE.  She claims that since babies born at this stage face a 99 percent chance of being disabled (not 99% chance of dying...just of being disabled in some unknown way), they should be put out of their misery and left to die.  Neglected and left to die.  Just so we're clear.

The legal gestational limit for abortions in the UK is 24 weeks.  So at least she's being consistent.  Of course we pro-lifers know that there's no difference between killing a 24 week unborn child and a 23 week born child.

She would like to see healthcare dollars - tax dollars - spent on something more "worthwhile," like cancer patients.  (Of course the irony here is that one of those premature babies, if saved, could grow up to find a cure for cancer!)  According to the article:

"Dr Austin, who advises local health trusts how to spend their budgets, said doctors were ‘doing more harm than good by resuscitating 23-weekers’ and that treatments have ‘very marginal benefit’."

She believes that the treatment and care that babies get in the hospital is too expensive and essentially worthless.  And this isn't the first time a story like this has come out of the UK.  Back in 2006 the NHS put forth guidelines that stated that babies born at 22 weeks and before should not be resuscitated, unless the parents request it and the doctors agree.  So even if the parents beg and plead for doctors to save their baby, the doctors could tell them it's not "worth it" and allow the baby to die.

"She claimed keeping them alive is only ‘prolonging their agony’, and it would be better to invest the money in care for cancer sufferers or the disabled."

How did we get here?  Part of the problem is misguided mercy.  Which sounds nice and compassionate, but is in practice a horrible state of culture to be in.  But when abortion became legal, rampant, and acceptable in western countries, we successfully hardened hearts to become a culture of death.  Take euthanasia, for instance.  Many people believe that neglecting people by removing sustenance necessary to live or hastening death to alleviate suffering is right and good.  Unfortunately, the more secular our culture gets, the more out of touch we get, in turn, with the benefits of suffering.  (I don't want to presume that I know what it's like to suffer from a horrible, incurable disease.  But we need to be remember that suffering glorifies the Lord.)

The other, less well-intentioned problem is that of the single-payer healthcare system.  When we have bureaucratic taxpayer-funded governments budgeting and allotting healthcare funds, we cease to have the power to make our own medical decisions.  People in positions of power, like Dr. Austin, have a job to do.  And their job is to balance budgets and keep costs down for the government - not necessarily to save and dignify lives.  It's happening in the UK, Canada, and is already starting to look like it could happen right here in the US.  It's just inevitable.  When the the bills are paid by a taxpayer-supported institution, as opposed to a free market-driven institution, it just can't sustain itself at the same level of care for the same amount of people.

"‘If it was my child, from all the evidence and information that I know, I would not resuscitate,’ she said."

Lord have mercy on that child.

40 Days, bring it on!

Does it make them more concrete if I blog about them?  Maybe I'll stay accountable now.  For the first time (ever?) I'm actually looking forward to Lent.  I've been in a spiritual drought for a long time now, and I just need a long period of repentance and reflection.  I've been hearing this from a lot of people lately.  What's going on out there?!?

Here is what I'm *attempting* for the next 40 days:

1) Giving up my weeknight evening TV time.  It's such a relaxing, vegetative time for me, but I've realized I end up staying awake much too late and never do any reading.  So I'm going to replace my TV time with something more spiritual - prayer time, reading, etc.  And this excludes weekends since weekend TV time is usually family time!

2) More daily mass

3) Jack has karate on Friday nights, so it's hard for us to make the stations of the cross regularly.  But...I found some Stations for Kids and I'm going to have Jack color the pictures and do the reflections on our own at home.  They might not happen on Fridays, even, but we'll get them in somehow!

4) Hubby & I are doing The Love Dare!  We'll see how that goes...

5) Besides my bloggy prayer buddy, my Lenten prayer intention is for the two directors from our local Planned Parenthood.  I'm debating on reaching out to them personally (we've never met, but I'm certain they know of me)...I'm trying to discern if that's the right approach.  Praying for an Abby Johnson-type conversion!

6) My church has 2 days so far for praying during 40 Days.  But hopefully I'll be out there more times than that!

I shouldn't have put numbers on my resolutions.  I don't mean to make it look like I'm doing "so much."  I'm not. Most are just things I've been meaning to do for a really long time!

And as always, prayers for my fellow bloggers and all you Catholic IF'ers and mommies, who carry on the legacy of our faith and pass it on to the next generation!

HOPE!

I'm feeling more hopeful today than I've ever felt in the last 4 years!  I had my official post-op today with my laparoscopy doc.  She had given the findings to my husband on the day of the surgery but I think a lot of info got lost in translation!  He tries!  :)  Ironically she asked if I remembered her talking to me after the surgery.  I was shocked.  Don't remember that at all!

She told me that everything looks normal.  Literally...everything.  She removed the polyp, which thank God was normal also.  But my tubes are open, my uterus looks good - normal!  She could even tell by looking around that I had ovulated that month, and that all my hormones are normal.  Sorry I keep using that word.  She said she can't see any reason I shouldn't get pregnant.  (Though I'm wary of getting my hopes up too high)

I also asked her that even though my tubes are open, is there a chance the HSG pushed a minor blockage out of the way.  She said that yes, post-HSG pregnancies are not uncommon.  She also said that the polyp being gone could be a factor in achieving pregnancy.

So my orders now are to "try aggressively" for the next 3-6 months.  I think she's now my husband's favorite doctor.

I sort of hate being back to "wait and see," but I do feel hopeful, since we've finally made a lot of progress!

The one frustrating thing is that I went back to this doc on January 4th, after 3+ years of Napro.  It's now March 2nd and, well, refer to the first line of this post.  I'm just so frustrated that my Napro doc didn't do any of these procedures early on!!!

But I keep reminding myself that it was all for a reason.  And honestly, it's a reason that makes perfect sense.  I don't want to assume I'll be pregnant anytime soon, but looking back, had I had a second child close to Jack I probably wouldn't have been able to do all the pro-life work that I've been doing the last 4+ years.  And now Jack will be in school full time in the fall, so timing-wise, it really does make sense.  Again...I'm not assuming anything.  Just hoping!

Score One for Chicago Pro-Lifers!

Now THIS makes me miss my old hometown!!!




A pro-life flash mob surprises a pro-abort rally at Daly Plaza in Chicago!  Just look at the difference in attitude and demographic between the two groups.  Which side is more joyful, compassionate, and loving?!?  Woot woot for the Windy City!!