Monday, February 28, 2011

How do you all do it?

Well, I got another "phone call" last night.  My cousin (a guy), who I love - he's literally like my 3rd brother - called to tell me he and his new wife are expecting.  Thank God he lives 12 hrs away because I'm not sure I could have gracefully processed the information in person.  I had a hard time acting super thrilled.  Honestly, I've been expecting that call for several months, just because he's my age, recently married, and I figured he wouldn't want to wait long to start a family.  So at least I had that excuse to be able to say, "Oh that's great!  Congrats!  But honestly I'm not surprised..."

I truly do love him, his wife is beautiful and wonderful and they'll be wonderful parents!  I'm so happy for them! But it doesn't matter who it is - pregnancy news only serves to remind me that I'm not.

The first 2 family pregnancy announcements I've received, I think I had more of a right to be upset.  They were unmarried mothers in less than ideal circumstances.  So besides being upset that they were pregnant and I wasn't, they also happened to be within the context of relationships that I had a right not to be thrilled about.

So...how do you all do it?  When a close friend or family member gives you the "big news," what's your reaction?  I mean, I know a lot of you blog about your reactions after the fact.  But I want to know what you do in the moment.  As they're saying the words.  When you see their phone number on caller ID and just know.  Are you able to fake it?  Act ridiculously excited (at least until you get home)?  Or is it obvious that you're pained?  I'd love to know I'm not alone!

St. Gerard, pray for us!
Posted by Nicole C at 1:49 PM

6 comments:

  1. Faith makes things possibleFebruary 28, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    Fake it!! I'd like to think my "excitement" is all they see/hear but I'm sure sometimes the pain shows through. On the other hand I think some people are just oblivious to how such an announcement could be hurtful to us, so in those cases it doesn't really matter!

    Just fake it til you make it!! God will give you the strength to get through these announcements, you're a lot stronger than you think!

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  2. Nicole CFebruary 28, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    I almost linked to your recent post about throwing a baby shower! I COULDN'T DO IT! I've just always been so bad at faking my emotions. But you're right - I guess I need to just trust that God will get me through it!

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  3. ...February 28, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Yep. You'll get there after the intial reaction. In the meantime, fake it 'til you make it.

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  4. Little JoAnnFebruary 28, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    I just didn't answer the phone. I let my husband take all these calls.

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  5. AnonymousFebruary 28, 2011 at 11:43 PM

    Sometimes faking it is the only way to get through those announcements. I know we've all had our share of crazy-eyed plastered-on smiles, while you hear ringing in your ears and hope you don't pass out (haha, melodramatic much?).
    On the other hand, I tend to not answer my phone a lot. Infertility has made me wary of calls from friends and family that I don't hear from often...and with good reason. 9 times out of 10 it's a pregnancy announcement. That 10th time is usually someone making a trip to our area and looking for a free place to stay :).

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  6. Nicole CMarch 1, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    Oh thank God I'm not the only one who avoids phone calls. I ALMOST gave my phone to my husband when I saw it was him. So I guess answering the phone was a big first step! And the fact that this was the first announcement I haven't cried about yet is progress!

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