Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Follow-Up and Healing

I had my follow-up appointment today with my Ob.  Everything looks good physically, thank God.  She said I can resume normal activity, gradually.  I still have to get some labwork to check my iron levels (I lost so much blood I was anemic when I left the hospital), but otherwise I'm allowed to resume exercise (desperately needed), abdominal workouts, and most importantly TTC.

However, she warned me that it is recommended to wait 3-6 months after a m/c to TTC again.  She said the risk of a subsequent m/c is higher soon afterwards.  I asked her why that is and she said it's a number of things - hormones, uterine lining can still be inflamed, basically just that your body isn't quite back to normal yet.

I was initially disappointed but maybe it's better.  Maybe I just need some time to not think about all of this IF, m/c, TTC stuff for awhile.  Even if I wait 3 months, it will put me in Feb/March, which is when Marshall was conceived, and I'd LOVE another holiday baby.  Of course, that's assuming I conceive right away.  And even though the last 2 pregnancies have happened on my first cycle of trying (or even without a cycle, in Marshall's case!), I've learned nothing is certain.  I just desperately want to be pregnant before Baby Frances' due date or I might have to be committed on May 21, 2013.  Prayers.

I heard back from my priest with our options for memorializing our babies - both Baby Gerard (Marshall's twin) and Baby Frances.  Here was his reply:

Hi Nicole, if you would like I could say an actual funeral mass for your miscarried [babies] (I think I can do both at once), because the funeral rite for children has alternative prayers for children who died before receiving baptism (the bodily remains do NOT have to be present). or there is a service in the Book of Blessings for parents of miscarried children, which is a service, not a mass. or we could have a memorial mass for miscarried children of the parish and invite other families who suffered the same thing. let me know what you want and we will talk dates and times. Fr John
I really like the idea of having a memorial mass for miscarried children and being able to invite others who have experienced it, especially since I'm seriously considering starting a diocesan IF/miscarriage support group.  On the other hand, I would really like to have something private for our babies and allow them to be recognized by name.

Any thoughts or suggestions?  Have any of you done anything like this?

I just feel so incredibly blessed to have a priest who is so pro-life and understanding and so willing to work with us on this.


  1. That would be so beautiful. We did not have a memorial mass for our "Felicity".

    As for the 3-6 month wait… Is she a NaPro doc? I always heard that the wait was more for the doctor than the woman (helps doc determine dates, when periods have been normal for a while, for example). We were pregnant within two cycles after our m/c, and Alexander is wonderful and healthy. Don't take my advice as authoritative, but I would check with another doctor on that advice (which is "standard" but then again, so is prescribing the Pill for menstrual issues).

    Praying for you, dear friend!

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. (sorry, bad grammar in the first post)

    We had a memorial mass and a graveside service for Noel. I thought they were very healing.

    You might want to ask your doctor about this study: "Much of the evidence supporting a wait of six months or more comes from developing countries, where medical care is less reliable and where women tend to get pregnant at earlier ages."

    1. sorry, here's the URL: http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/08/05/miscarriage.try.again.asap/index.html

  4. Praying for continued healing for you. Your priest sounds wonderful!!

  5. Nicole - I am so sorry that you had another m/c. I am glad that you guys are thinking of having a Mass or some type of memorial service. I imagine it will be very healing. Prayers for you and your husband.

  6. The memorial mass is what i had for JP, It was beautiful. As for waiting for ttc. I did a lot of research and agree w/leila, my napro md said to wait one cycle, also secular ob said same thing.

  7. Hi Bobbins - it means "try to conceive"