Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The most beautiful sound in the world

Is an unborn baby's heartbeat.  And I heard one today.  PRAISE GOD.  I have been a basketcase since my last ultrasound, needlessly worrying about the other baby.  I don't look big enough.  I don't feel sick enough.  I haven't felt a kick yet.  Just crazy thoughts going through my head, when I know in my heart that everything I'm feeling (or not feeling) is completely normal at that stage.

So on top of the worry I already had, it took a good minute or two (I don't have a good estimate...my mind was somewhere outside the space/time continuum) for her to find the heartbeat.  It was the LONGEST minute(s) of my life.  I was praying so hard, trying to hold back tears.  She told me that at 12-13 weeks, it typically takes longer to find.  Which honestly, I already knew going in.  It's just agonizing when you're waiting.

Turns out my uterus is bigger than she expected and the little runt was higher up than where she was looking.  When she did find it, it was a good, strong 146.  Phew!  As soon as she said, "There it is," and I heard it, the floodgates opened up.  I couldn't help it.  I was so emotional.  I had just had a bad feeling going in...like the feeling I had before the ultrasound, although I couldn't tell if it was a legitimate "bad feeling" or just paranoia because of losing the twin.  I told the doctor, "That was the longest minute of my life."  She said, "Mine too!"  WHAT?!?  Don't tell me that!!!

But God bless my doctor.  She knows how traumatized and emotional I am, and she'd usually bring me back in 4 weeks.  But she's allowing me to come in weekly for the next four weeks just so I can hear the heartbeat and feel at ease.  I'm soooo relieved!  She also said I'm exactly the right size for 13+ weeks.  Big, in fact, thanks to my super-human uterus, apparently.

So for the next week I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy the sound I heard this morning and trust that God is taking care of my little angel.

23 comments:

  1. Praise God! I'm hoping to hear that wonderful sound next week.

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  2. Go as much as you need to my dear....

    Carla
    www.bringinghenryhome.blogspot.com

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  3. God bless! I have been waiting for an update. So happy to hear things are moving along. And God bless ur MD for being so compassionate!

    You are in my thoughts!

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  4. Nicole, You have been on my mind ever since I read the news. I know it is a roller coaster. Have you heard of renting heart monitors? I used it with one of mine and it was great peace of mind. I could hear the heartbeat whenever I wanted.

    Heartones

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  5. Thanks Stacy! I've heard of buying dopplers, but not of renting. I've considered it, but I'm not sure if it would hurt or help at this point. It took so long for the dr. to find it today, and I'm not exactly sure where to look, so it might even make me more paranoid if I couldn't find it! I don't know...I'll definitely check out the website!! Thank you!!

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  6. Yay! So glad you were able to hear your little one's nice, strong heartbeat.

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  7. What wonderful news! I'm so happy to hear it.

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  8. Great news! I'm so happy for you, Nicole! :)

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  9. AGREED!!!! I am so nervous before these checks as well and my Nurse Practicioner has said the same thing - I can come in every week (I am 11 weeks today). I went in this morning and had that same nagging feeling I have every day (and for some reason it has become more intense even though things continue to go well)....hmmm...there is a lesson in trust there for me somewhere! :) Anwyay, I loved it when I heard that fast galloping horses sound....oh my, I breathed a huge sigh of relief!!

    And the doppler - yeah, it is tricky situation. Another blogger sent me hers and I tried it last Friday with my SIL (she is a OB nurse) and she just found glimpses of it, like for a couple seconds here and there and only because the output on the monitor was in the 160s - so definitely not my heartbeat, but nothing like I have heard at the clinic. But my SIL assured me that home dopplers are different and not as sensitive as those in the clinics and even in the clinics it is sometimes hard to find the heartbeat because the baby is still so small. Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed, but hearing how strong the heartbeat was today at the clinic, I am vowing not to use the doppler until I get closer to 14 weeks or so, when they should be able to pick it up at home or at the clinic - we shall see how I last with that resolution. It is very tempting with it sitting in my closet, but it will hopefully save me some anxiety. More prayers coming for you and your little one!!

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  10. Sorry that was me above - Blogger won't let me sign in as JBTC - ugh.

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  11. Love that baby. Awesome you're going weekly. Do NOT rent a doppler. Just think if you couldn't find the heartbeat. Pretty soon you'll feel some good kicking and you'll be reassured :)

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  12. I remember always praying Hail Marys over and over til they found it. And after what you've just been through, I can only imagine your worry. But thanks be to God you heard it and all is okay!

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  13. Rent a doppler. (Sorry, Beth, hee hee.)

    I talked to my midwife about it and she said, "If you ever have trouble finding a heartbeat, COME IN. That's what we're here for." (They give the same advice about not being able to feel the baby kick past a certain point. Can't feel him for a long time? Don't wait, come in! etc. It's sage advice, they'll put your mind at ease.)

    And chances are, you'll NOT have trouble finding it. Your uterus is only so big and past the first trimester, it's very easy to find for an average pregnant woman. (Yes, before 8 weeks, I wouldn't recommend it.)

    I rented one for about 3 months, til I felt him all the time, whenever I needed to. Then I sent it back.

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  14. Thank you for writing your title...otherwise it would have been the longest paragraph of my life! Praise God! SO happy for you and baby!!!

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  15. Wonderful news!! So happy for you!! :)

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  16. I am so happy for you. Thanks be to God! Praying that everything keeps going well.

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  17. Don't listen to Cathy. She's crazy. :)

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