Is an unborn baby's heartbeat. And I heard one today. PRAISE GOD. I have been a basketcase since my last ultrasound, needlessly worrying about the other baby. I don't look big enough. I don't feel sick enough. I haven't felt a kick yet. Just crazy thoughts going through my head, when I know in my heart that everything I'm feeling (or not feeling) is completely normal at that stage.
So on top of the worry I already had, it took a good minute or two (I don't have a good estimate...my mind was somewhere outside the space/time continuum) for her to find the heartbeat. It was the LONGEST minute(s) of my life. I was praying so hard, trying to hold back tears. She told me that at 12-13 weeks, it typically takes longer to find. Which honestly, I already knew going in. It's just agonizing when you're waiting.
Turns out my uterus is bigger than she expected and the little runt was higher up than where she was looking. When she did find it, it was a good, strong 146. Phew! As soon as she said, "There it is," and I heard it, the floodgates opened up. I couldn't help it. I was so emotional. I had just had a bad feeling going in...like the feeling I had before the ultrasound, although I couldn't tell if it was a legitimate "bad feeling" or just paranoia because of losing the twin. I told the doctor, "That was the longest minute of my life." She said, "Mine too!" WHAT?!? Don't tell me that!!!
But God bless my doctor. She knows how traumatized and emotional I am, and she'd usually bring me back in 4 weeks. But she's allowing me to come in weekly for the next four weeks just so I can hear the heartbeat and feel at ease. I'm soooo relieved! She also said I'm exactly the right size for 13+ weeks. Big, in fact, thanks to my super-human uterus, apparently.
So for the next week I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy the sound I heard this morning and trust that God is taking care of my little angel.